I was at a commencement ceremony, sitting in the stands, awaiting the year's graduates to name's to be called and for them to head up to the stage to accept their diplomas.
Suddenly, I had the urge to go to the restroom. I couldn't hold it. I needed to go NOW ...
I asked someone next to me if they knew where a restroom was located. A man pointed to the auditorium doors and told me to go to the right. I'd find it without any problem, he said.
One long corridor later, I still couldn't find the restroom. At the end of it, I made a left that opened up into a grand 17th century mansion hallway complete with plush, decorative walls filled with paintings and stuffed beasts and more. Grand crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling the entire length of the hall. I continued walking, desperate for relief.
The hallway seemed a football field in length and I couldn't find a restroom to save my life. But all of a sudden I bumped into a janitor who motioned me backward and to my right: "You just passed it. It's that room right there," he pointed.
I approached the door he noted and opened it. Inside were a couple dozen drunken revelers, hooting and hollering for some reason. I quickly made my way through them, found an open urinal and unzipped my fly ... but I was interrupted.
Three smashed Japanese men, nattily dressed in suits and ties and who had their arms interlocked forming a three-man line, approached me from behind. I caught a glimpse of them over my shoulder just as I was about to conduct "my business."
They stopped at my back, gathered their wits about them and began swaying drunkenly toward me. And then away from me. And then toward me once more, then away from me again. You know when two people have a kid's arms and legs grasped between them, the tyke rocking back and forth while singing some childhood nursery rhyme? That's what these guys were doing ... just drunkenly, interlocked between themselves.
And yes: They were chanting in broken English while getting ready to squish me forcefully into the urinal:
"Go, Baby! Go, Baby! Baby, baby, go baby! Go, Baby! Go, Baby! Baby, baby, go baby!"
I was afraid I was going to get my head bashed into the wall or have my teeth connect with the urinal's plumbing. I yelled sing-songishly back at them:
"No, Baby! No, Baby! Baby, baby, NO baby!"
And, just before they slammed into me, I woke up from the dream.
After lots of thought, I realized the song was a take on Devo's "Please, Baby, Please" with obviously different lyrics:
.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )
"'Stop' ... ??? NO! We must repeat ... !!!"