The Theatre Of The Obvious - Cause Of Death

Ladies & Gentlemen:


For your dining and dancing pleasure, may I present ... The Obvious:

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP ) 

Day #1 With The Girls

I'm certain the fun has just begun ...

"What do you guys want to do today?" I asked both the girls. 

"Let's go toilet paper somebody's house! That would be cool!" said the littlest.

"Are you goofy? It's snowing outside."

"That's what would make it cool! It would make it that much harder to clean up!"

"Hello! It's snowing outside! You wouldn't be able to see a toilet-papered house that's white with snow. Did you forget toilet paper is also white?"

"We could dye it a different color ..."

"When you wipe your butt it disintegrates. So how in the world are you going to dye toilet paper ... ?!??"

*raucous laughter*

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP ) 

Acronyms

I'm not afraid to admit: I don't get the "acts*."  

I've harped on this before along with my refusal to use them ... or at least minimize their use in my everyday language. 

It's a matter of conformity: Someone "says" something, acronymically speaking, where I'm forced (if I want to understand) to look up the abbreviation. (And I'll admit: This little rant was brought on by my buddy Ivey who used "TIL" this morning ... which I immediately had to go look up, not having any point of reference.)

So I'm going to start my own AM&CS** which everyone - EVERYONE - is going to have to follow ... adapt to ... deal with. After all, if I have to play the game, then they're going to have to roll with the punches as well. There are two sides of the fence with theirs being TDDoA***, TFDoWC**** ... and their side is not the only one that's going to get the spotlight. Not on my watch.

I'm going to shorten words and phrases that make sense to me. Anyone who reads what I have to say is just going to have to be all the wiser.

I feel empowered! Strong! As if I'm on a 10' tall soapbox, prosyletizing to the masses!

But ... you know what? Thinking about it, implementing something like that is just going to be too much work. So, instead, I'll simply keep doing what I'm doing: When someone spews some compressed, abridged something-or-other I don't understand, I'll just say "I don't understand. What do you mean?" BeyeNo***** that pushes buttons. 

.s++****** Rupe******* ( SS******** )

* short for "acronyms"** short for "Acronym Marching & Chowder Society"
** The Acronym Marching & Chowder Society
*** short for "the dumbing down of America"
**** short for "The Further Decline of Western Civilization"
***** short for "because I know"
****** short for ".........." (as in "lots of dots or periods")
******* abbreviation for "Ruprecht"
******** short for "STOP" ("ss" as in "stop sign")

The Theatre Of The Obvious - All Caps

Ladies & Gentlemen:


For your dining and dancing pleasure, may I present a real-life example of ... The Obvious:

"The kids and I made peanut butter and jelly bars last weekend. Barefoot contessa recipe. SUPER (all caps) yummy." *

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

*quotation sic, author withheld

Woah Nelly

Happy Valentine's Day ... 

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP ) 

Blessed Offense

Yeah. Happens often ...

With the exception of the "mystics" I try to do these things ...

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

Words

Yeah ... there's a difference:

learn
[lurn]
verb (used with object)

1. to acquire knowledge of or skill in by study, instruction, or experience: to learn French; to learn to ski.

2. to become informed of or acquainted with; ascertain: to learn the truth.

inform
[in-fawrm]
verb (used with object)

1. to give or impart knowledge of a fact or circumstance to: He informed them of his arrival.

... but some don't agree ...

whatever
[hwuht-ev-er, hwot-, hwuht-, wuht-, wot-, wuht-]
interjection

10. used to indicate indifference to a state of affairs, situation, previous statement, etc.

......... Ruprecht ( STOP )